The Toxicity of Small Talk

Hebrews 4:15-16 (NRSV): The Toxicity of Small Talk

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

The crowd is thick with people murmuring in hard-to-decipher words. It starts when we sit down, waiting for the event to begin. The conversation turns toxic; the subject is others’ shortcomings. I promise myself that I will not participate. But I end up nodding and smiling, too much of a coward to offend my friends, colleagues, family, or acquaintances. I have a few techniques I use: I get quiet but silently agree. Sometimes I ask stealthy questions, questions that I can pass off as benign if challenged. But I know, like stones thrown in ridicule, their real purpose is to offend, condemn, and criticize. And then the cycle begins: I stop, realizing the wrong and feeling guilty about my contribution to the calumny. But I really don’t stop because, if I look deep within my heart, I know I’ll do it again.

The author of Hebrews reminds us that we are sinners in need of God’s grace and mercy, a forgiveness and strength that are freely given: “Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Although I get discouraged, fall time after time, sin again and again, God’s word reminds me that this is the reason for Jesus embracing the human condition. He, too, faced temptation. Jesus knows, therefore, the struggle we face. His victory is ours, too, if we embrace it. What I mean is simple: We will fail every time if we try to pick ourselves up without the mercy and grace of God. God’s love, however, never fails. All we have to do is approach it, ask for it. God’s love, mercy, grace, and healing are ours. And it is my hope that we build up others in love, resisting the easy temptation to do otherwise.

Have a blessed week!

Stan