I just finished a course through Notre Dame University's STEP (Satellite Theological Education Program), and although this was my fourth class through Notre Dame, it was a epiphany and lesson in humility.
Before the course, I decided that being a catechist in my parish was a way I could give back to the community. But through learning and discovery in this course, and other recent experiences, I have uncovered that doctrine is not something I should teach nor is it something into which I should delve more deeply. I have spent several years now studying, marking up text, and reflecting on intricacies of Catholic doctrine, and although I have gained much insight, it has distracted me from the true meaning of the Gospel: Love your neighbor as yourself. Studying doctrine has brought to the surface too many debatable, strife-causing issues for me, and I do not want to debate with Christ or His Body. I just want to love with the heart of Jesus and be an honest man of Christian faith. Being a catechist is clearly not what I am called to do. It is ironic, however, being that my profession is in education.
I do feel called to get involved in social justice and service ministries, though. I feel that serving the broken, embracing the needy, and offering myself in the everyday moments of being a dad, husband, and neighbor are more my speed. I want to give myself away in the small moments of my day and not become enveloped in the stress and spiritually-detracting intellectual debates. Like St. Francis of Assisi, living the Gospel is about preaching with our lives. After all, isn't that what Christ did (still does)?
I ask everyone who reads this to please pray that in my brokenness, in my moments of blindness, God will send His Spirit to strengthen me with the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change and to change the things I can.
Thank you.
Peace,
Stan
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